Shock and disbelief in the beltway this morning as Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi announced her immediate retirement from elected office. Serving as a representative for the State of California since 1987, few could have foreseen Pelosi giving up power during such a critical juncture, with her party controlling a majority in both the house and the senate heading into the midterms. The strangest part of it all: the 82-year-old isn’t retiring. Effective immediately, she will head to Bank of America’s New York City office, joining their trading floor as a summer intern.
Pelosi, who was born ten years prior to the advent of the credit card, had this to say when asked about her perplexing career change: “I received a call from them [BofA] a couple of days ago, and they were very impressed with my record trading on the stock exchange. They asked if I would like to join their current intern class, and I knew I just had to jump on the opportunity. Making money in politics is fun, but I figured I would cut out the middleman and just focus on making money.”
While Nancy’s decision to take an intern role well into the eighth decade of her life is surprising, Bank of America’s interest in her makes a degree of sense. Since 2019, Pelosi’s portfolio has consistently outperformed the S&P 500 by nearly 20%. “When I see a stock going up, I buy it, and then when it starts going back down, I sell it. It’s really that easy!”
We spoke with recruiters from Bank of America’s Sales and Trading department to better understand why Pelosi wasn’t offered a full-time paid position. “Here at Bank of America, we believe in meritocracy. Nancy’s gifted, the numbers don’t lie, but our policy clearly states that candidates without previous financial services experience must undergo our internship program. Nevertheless, we’re confident that Nancy will be ready to perform as an analyst before her 85th birthday.”
While her peers in Congress are left scratching their heads, Nancy has made it clear that she is thrilled for this next chapter. “With Paul’s legal fees and ice cream prices on the fritz, I was getting worried about our nest egg. Now I can rest easy knowing that after a few short years working 90-hour weeks, I’ll be ready to return to politics until I inevitably die on camera during the State of the Union.”